What religion are you?

[Immortal]

# Taoism: **** happens.
# Confucianism: Confucius say, "**** happens."
# Buddhism: If **** happens, it isn't really ****.
# Zen Buddhism: **** is, and is not.
# Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of **** happening?
# Hinduism: This **** has happened before.
# Islam: If **** happens, it is the will of Allah.
# Islam #2: If **** happens, kill the person responsible.
# Islam #3: If **** happens, blame Israel.
# Catholicism: If **** happens, you deserve it.
# Protestantism: Let **** happen to someone else.
# Presbyterian: This **** was bound to happen.
# Episcopalian: It's not so bad if **** happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
# Methodist: It's not so bad if **** happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
# Congregationalist: **** that happens to one person is just as good as **** that happens to another.
# Unitarian: **** that happens to one person is just as bad as **** that happens to another.
# Lutheran: If **** happens, don't talk about it.
# Fundamentalism: If **** happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
# Fundamentalism #2: If **** happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
# Fundamentalism #3: **** must be born again.
# Judaism: Why does this **** always happen to us?
# Calvinism: **** happens because you don't work.
# Seventh Day Adventism: No **** shall happen on Saturday.
# Creationism: God made all ****.
# Secular Humanism: **** evolves.
# Christian Science: When **** happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
# Christian Science #2: **** happening is all in your mind.
# Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this ****.
# Quakers: Let us not fight over this ****.
# Utopianism: This **** does not stink.
# Darwinism: This **** was once food.
# Capitalism: That's MY ****.
# Communism: It's everybody's ****.
# Feminism: Men are ****.
# Chauvinism: We may be ****, but you can't live without us...
# Commercialism: Let's package this ****.
# Impressionism: From a distance, **** looks like a garden.
# Idolism: Let's bronze this ****.
# Existentialism: **** doesn't happen; **** IS.
# Existentialism #2: What is ****, anyway?
# Stoicism: This **** is good for me.
# Hedonism: There is nothing like a good **** happening!
# Mormonism: God sent us this ****.
# Mormonism #2: This **** is going to happen again.
# Wiccan: An it harm none, let **** happen.
# Scientology: If **** happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
# Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< **** happens.
# Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our ****?
# Jehovah's Witnesses #3: **** has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
# Moonies: Only really happy **** happens.
# Hare Krishna: **** happens, rama rama.
# Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this ****!
# Zoroastrianism: **** happens half on the time.
# Church of SubGenius: BoB ****.
# Practical: Deal with **** one day at a time.
# Agnostic: **** might have happened; then again, maybe not.
# Agnostic #2: Did someone ****?
# Agnostic #3: What is this ****?
# Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
# Atheism: What ****?
# Atheism #2: I can't believe this ****!
# Nihilism: No ****.

[uRki]

# Islam #3: If **** happens, blame Israel.